SUCCINCT

Toyota

2010-02-23T22:05:00.004-05:00

www.riecker.ca

Consultant

2009-06-10T21:59:00.001-04:00

web site www.riecker.ca

2009-04-10T22:15:00.013-04:00

We recently returned from a spring break holiday stay at the Tresure Island in Las Vegas.

This city never sleeps nor does it stop growing. I was amazed at the changes since we were there last.

A huge new complex is being built between the Bellagio and Monte Carlo resorts. The CityCenter will feature ARIA, a soaring 61-story, 4,004-room gaming resort; non-gaming luxury hotels including Vdara Hotel and Las Vegas’ first Mandarin Oriental; Veer Towers, the development’s only strictly residential buildings; a $40 million Public Fine Art Program; and Crystals, a 500,000-square-foot retail and entertainment district. Vdara, Mandarin Oriental and Veer Towers will include approximately 2,400 residences total. The Harmon, a luxury 400-room boutique hotel, is slated to open at CityCenter in late 2010.

Meanwhile, the headlines in the papers reflected that the combination of out-of-control expansion and one upmanship, misguided corporate policies, and the effects of the recession have caused some of the largest casinos in Nevada to teeter on the edge of bankruptcy. The state Gaming Control Board is scrambling to get ready for any gambling operators declaring themselves bankrupt, so as to minimize damage to the local economy.

It was all too much for me to comprehend,so we just spent time in the afternoon around the pool relaxing and people watching.

Who Would Have Ever Thought That it Would Come to This

2009-01-04T22:38:00.005-05:00

2009 Has To Be Better!

2009-01-01T00:28:00.004-05:00

Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas

2008-10-08T21:43:00.004-04:00

Wishing you peace and happiness this Christmas.

Biking the Bridge - San Francisco

2008-10-05T22:07:00.005-04:00

We recently returned from a vaction in San Francisco.

One highlight was biking the Golden Gate Bridge.

If you ever go, it's highly recommended.

Sign of the Times

2008-05-28T21:51:00.001-04:00

Apparently Spam sales are rising as consumers are turning more to lunch meats and other lower-cost foods to extend their already stretched food budgets.

That will no doubt lead to many new meal creations such as barbecued Spam, Spam and cheese omelets and southern fried Spam.

Mmm…yum…would you like fries with that?

Road Trip (continued)

2007-11-26T21:17:00.000-05:00

Driving through Maine we came upon a convenient roadside rest stop.
It was adjacent to a bubbling waterfall.

There was a sign pointing to the facilties. There it it was in a clearing in the woods, just like the sign indicated.

Our Summer Vacation

2007-11-16T21:34:00.000-05:00

We went on a road trip this summer.
The first stop was old Quebec City.

Where Has The Summer Gone?

2007-08-14T20:53:00.000-04:00

It's been a few months since I've posted anything. The creative juices have just not been flowing. The summer has been busy with lots of things to do outside. Just watering the plants every night seems to wear me out.

In the picture is a great blue heron. He drops in on the pond several times every summer to stalk the frogs and feed himself. Click on the picture to get the full impact. Note his reflection in the water.

Sign of the Times

2007-05-31T20:41:00.000-04:00

I saw this sign next to a pile of wooden pallets on my way to work on Thursday.

On Friday the sign was gone, but the wood was still there.

Truncated Humor

2007-05-25T22:27:00.000-04:00

My friend Bob couldn't get an erection so he visits the doctor.

The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis a re broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.

Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best. Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.

The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".

Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.

No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.

His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look on Her face. She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?"

With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bob says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."

Iguana Sighting

2007-02-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

A lazy iguana resting
on the stone side-wall at
the entrance to the restrooms goes
unnoticed by passers-by.

(double click on image to enlarge)

.

As I move in for a close-up, he quickly scurries away.

Would you be frightened to go near this guy?

Winter in Mexico

2007-02-04T22:28:00.000-05:00

We've been away on a little vacation where it was nice and hot.

However, when we landed Toronto last night, we were soon reminded how nasty winter can be.

More to follow....

2007 North American International Auto Show

2007-01-15T22:11:00.000-05:00

I attended the Detroit auto show - more formally known as the North American International Auto Show - on Sunday. The show, which celebrates its 100th anniversary this year, featured numerous far-out concept cars as well as many newproduction models that will actually hit the showrooms in the near future.

The best show-car was the Chevy Volt an electric car complete with an on-board generator to feed the batteries. It's a sign of things to come.

Ford had little exciting to offer other than its Airstream concept van. The new Edge was on display, but Ford offered no hype to go with it.

One of the more expensive buggies was the Mercedes SLR-Class starting at a mere $450,000. Also on display were the Ocean Drive concept four-door convertible and the block-long Mayback sedan.

The Chrysler and Dodge displays were the most entertaining and featured the prettiest models. Visitors who had their picture taken were given an access code to view the picture onlinet imbedded in a Chrysler or Dodge webpage.

All in all I was pretty impressed with the show. Of course, I didn't realize until I got home, that I had missed an entire section of the show housed in Michigan Hall.

Oh well, there's always next year.

Mercedes SLR-Class
Mercedes-Benz Ocean Drive
Dodge Avenger
Lexus Sports Car LFA Concept
Holden EFIJY Concept
Camaro Convertible Concept

KIA Kue Concept

Lincoln MKR Concept

Mazda Ryuga Concept

Ford Airstream Concept

Acura Advanced Sports Car Concept

Honda FCX Concept (fuel cell technology)

Honda Accord Coupe Concept
Chevy Volt

What is your dream car?

The Good Shepherd

2007-01-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

The Good Shepherd is a three-hour movie directed by Robert De Niro, who also has a cameo role. It is the complicated and convoluted story about the career of the fictionalized Edward Wilson, a colourless but meticulous CIA agent who builds ships in bottles in his spare time.

The plot moves slowly and methodically though three decades of historical events with little explanation as to the how or why. If you were born after 1970, it would help to read up on the background of the Cuban missile crisis and the botched Bay of Pigs invasion of 1961 before you see the movie.

Matt Damon is impeccable in the role of Wilson, who loves the Agency more than his family, as the story flashes back and forth from his Yale University years, his youth and throughout his career in the Agency.

The always beautiful Angelina Jolie plays the role of the wife he does not love. The rest of the cast includes Billy Crudup, John Turturro, Alec Baldwin and William Hurt, all of whom help maintain the film's shadowy web of intrigues, double agents and moles.

I'd guess this movie has Academy Award potential, especially for Matt Damon. I give it four out of five stars.

New Year's Eve

2006-12-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

No wild partying tonight.

The goal for us is to see the newest box office flick, The Good Shepherd, followed by some serious channel surfing and munchie crunching on the couch.

According to Entertainment Weekly, "The Good Shepherd is a buttoned-up, shadowy dramatic recounting of the early days of the buttoned-up, shadowy Central Intelligence Agency. Here, the entire CIA is embodied by a zip-lipped, fictionalized founding operative named Edward Wilson (Matt Damon)."

I'll post my take on the movie tomorrow.

Have a good one!

Do You Ever Wonder?

2006-12-28T23:25:00.000-05:00

Why
are
you
IN
a
movie,
but
you're
ON
TV?

Spending Boxing Day

2006-12-26T21:45:00.000-05:00

According to CBC News, nearly six million Canadians spent almost $2 billion chasing Boxing Day sales, with clothing and electronics as the hottest items.

I avoided the line-ups at the stores today, but will confess to doing some on-line shopping at the Web Site of one of the Big Box electronic retailers. After all, a Wireless-G Router and Wireless-G USB 2.0 Adapter package for $9.95 and a 512MB USB 2.0 Flash Drive for $5.99 (after rebates) is pretty hard to resist.

Now, how did you spend your Boxing Day?

Merry Christmas

2006-12-23T21:34:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my virtual Christmas bash.

The outside of the house is lit up.

The tree has been decorated. There might even be a pressie there for you. (That really is a picture of the house and the family tree.)

I've set out lots of food and sweets for you to sample.

Enjoy a virtual cocktail or some special eggnog.

Hey........ I just elfed myself!

Check it out here while you are partying.

It may take a few seconds to open, so relax and be patient.

Merry Christmas one and all!

2006-12-17T22:24:00.000-05:00

When I get bored at meetings at work, my mind wanders and I start doodling on Post-it notes.

This idea came to me as I was listening in on on a teleconference.

Can you guess what the topic was?

Hey, if you want to copy this and stick it on your blog or print it on a t-shirt.... go right ahead. Just send me a check if you figure out a way to make money with it.

2006-12-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

Truthiwhat?

2006-12-12T22:43:00.000-05:00

Truthiness, a term created by comedian Stephen Colbert for his satiric talk show, has been declared the word of the year for 2006 by dictionary publisher Merriam-Webster.

Meaning: The quality by which a person claims to know something intuitively, instinctively, or "from the gut" without regard to evidence, logic, intellectual examination, or actual facts.

What's your word of choice for 2006?

I Wonder.....

2006-12-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

I've been getting about 20 unique
visitors each day ever since
my post about the Bell Beavers.

I wonder how many visitors I'll get
once I add this picure of
a big pussy cat?

Till Death Do Us Part

2006-12-01T21:13:00.000-05:00

I was touched with emotion as I read this story in my morning paper. It is the ultimate love story. You can read it here:

Inseparable to the end

What did you feel?

Think About This:

2006-11-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

It's ironic and a sad commentary on our society, but I'd guess that Michael Richards' racist outburst at a Los Angeles comedy club could lead to more fortune than misfortune for the former co-star of Seinfeld.

What do you think?

Thought for Today

2006-11-28T22:17:00.000-05:00

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old women running around with tattoos?

And, the oldies stations will be playing non-stop RAP music!

Ya Gotta Love Those Beavers

2006-11-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

Canada has gone beaver crazy… for a couple of computer-animated beavers named Frank and Gordon, that is.

The stars of a current ad campaign for Bell Canada, the cute, cuddly creatures have quickly become a national sensation.

A recent poll by a Canadian radio station found that 89 per cent of the country’s citizens wanted to see more of the furry rodents, making the Bell Beavers Canada’s most popular celebrities.

The team behind Frank and Gordon are from Buzz Image Group, a Montreal visual effects, production and graphics design studio, which produced the ads for Bell Canada’s agency Cossette Communication Group.

OK... see the beavers here
and here
and more here

Do you recognize the voice of Frank?

He was a former Saturday Night live cast member from 1993 to 1997 where he often anchored the Weekend Update.

I'll post the answer in the comments section.

Sunday Musings

2006-11-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

It was a wonderful fall day on the north shore of Lake Erie. The sky was a bright blue and the sun shone for most of the day.

It would have been a great day to put the Christmas lights. But I usually wait until the snow flies and it's so cold that my fingers freeze.

Instead, I decided to go down to the harbor and to check out the sailboats for sale. I've got my eye on one that I'm going to take a closer look at. It has a mustard yellow hull and seems to be in good shape for her age.

I can just see myself out in the blue water with the winds in the sail.

I better stop dreaming and start thinking about putting up those Christmas lights.

October 31, 2006

2006-10-30T21:37:00.000-05:00

It's Halloween again. I'll be handing out treats at the door.

How will you be spending Halloween?

Pasta Lovers Unite

2006-10-27T21:39:00.000-04:00

This past Wednesday was World Pasta Day. Celebrated annually each October 25, World Pasta Day marks the importance of this tasty and nutritious food, a staple in kitchens and cultures around the globe.
.

I personally enjoy making pasta dishes. I'd love to share some of my favorite recipes, but they are all in my head. I like to improvise with whatever I can find in the fridge. Most of my concoctions are based on a tomato blush sauce.

For kickers, I like to use seafood such as shrimp, salmon, mussels or scallops. Adding a dollop of goat cheese is the crowning touch

Here are some links to pasta recipes sites.

http://www.ilovepasta.org/recipes/30_minute.html
http://www.cwb.ca/en/news/worldpastaday/recipes_navigation6.html

What's your favorite pasta dish?

Weekend Bliss

2006-10-23T23:09:00.000-04:00

The Dudette and I went away for the weekend. We were invited to a wedding in cottage country.

It was in a small lakeside community where we spent many summer holidays and made some lasting friendships.

We took our time traveling and stopped for a lovely lunch in a quaint little restaurant and enjoyed some wine, pasta and delectable deserts. There were no menus, just a sandwich board that the waitress set next your table, while you made your selection.

The next day, on the trip home we stopped at a village known for its unique little shops.

We visited this tiny little candy shoppe and bought some chocolates.

The kind that melt in your mouth and make you wish for more.

How was your weekend?

I'm Back

2006-10-19T22:43:00.000-04:00

I've been absent from the blog scene for quite a while. The creative juices just have not been flowing. I've had a lot of projects on the go, which have kept me busy. Now that fall has set hold and the days are much shorter, I will have more time to spend at the computer. One thing that I'm doing is looking into buying a sailboat. I've had a number of small boats, but at this stage in my life, I think I'd like a nice day-sailor. I've looked at several including a Tanzer 7.5 and a Mirage 24, like the one in the picture below.

It may be too late this year to get serious about a boat, but it will give me something to dream about.

What do you dream about owning?

Sunday at the Harbour

2006-09-10T22:06:00.000-04:00

I went down to the harbour on Sunday and took my camera with me.

Double click on the picture if you want to see a larger image.

The lake was a little rough and the beach was pretty much deserted.

Just me and the Seagulls.

There were a few fishing boats tied up in the river.

I caught a sail boat coming under the lift bridge. The bridge goes up every half hour during the boating season.

The geese were enjoying a few quiet moments.

I met some other locals walking along the river bank.

They commented on me taking pictures. "There isn't a picture here that hasn't been taken," he said to me.

No doubt, that's true. But they haven't all been seen, I thought to myself.

Update

2006-07-30T22:07:00.000-04:00

I really have not been on vacation. But, I have been working 4-day weeks so that I can things done around the house. I've been doing a lot of work in my yard.

For example, I've added a cement pad under my deck and added some privacy lattice so I can sit and enjoy the sights of nature (see the picture).

So far, we've had deer sightings and a couple of Herons have been circling the pond to stake out the frog population. If you look closely, you'll see the Heron in the centre of the picture. It was raining at the time I took the picture.

This weekend, a gaggle of Canada geese have taken up residence in the yard. I'll post some more pictures of the garden over the next several days.

Double click on the pictures to get the full effect.

Cheers!

Butterflies Are Free

2006-07-24T22:08:00.000-04:00

I just happened to have my camera in my hand when this Monarch butterfly landed at my feet in the garden.

Double click on the image if you want the full view.

Blog on Vacation

2006-06-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

I've got too much going on.... no time to blog.

I'll be back soon.

Mystery Bird

2006-05-27T22:13:00.000-04:00

Caught this feathered dude on my feeder the other day. He has a bright red chest that does not show in the picture. Does anybody know what kind of bird this is?

1000 Words

2006-05-27T21:34:00.000-04:00

I don't have anything funny or political to say. I've just been too busy to come up with anything profound or entertaining.

Soooooooo.... I'll post a few pictures. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I took these pictures in the harbour of the village where I live on Sunday afternoon.

One, Two, Three......

2006-05-15T23:03:00.000-04:00

ORLANDO, Fla. - President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the chief executive……SOURCE

Could the world take another Bush in the Whitehouse?

What do you think Jeb is thinking?

"Momisms"

2006-05-11T22:26:00.000-04:00

This Sunday will be Mother's Day. My mom was special and I miss her immensely. She was a fantastic cook and a talented seamstress. Of course it's only after they've gone that we really appreciate how special a mom can be. If you still have your mother, give her a great big hug and tell her how much she means to you.

I found these "Momisms" on the internet and I don't know who the author is.

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.

My mother taught me RELIGION. You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!

My mother taught me LOGIC. Because I said so, that's why.

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.

My mother taught me FORESIGHT. Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.

My mother taught me IRONY. Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. Shut your mouth and eat your supper.

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

My mother taught me about STAMINA. You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.

My mother taught me about WEATHER. This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. Just wait until we get home.

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.

My mother taught me ESP. Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?

My mother taught me HUMOR. When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.

My mother taught me GENETICS. You're just like your father.

My mother taught me about my ROOTS. Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?

My mother taught me WISDOM. When you get to be my age, you'll understand.

My mother taught me about JUSTICE. One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you!

What lessons did you learn from your mom?

Office Wisdom - Part One

2006-05-09T21:59:00.000-04:00

1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

3. There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.

4. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.

5. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.

6. Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.

7. Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think.

8. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!

9. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.

10. It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.

11. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Well, in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.

12. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

13. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

14. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

15. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

16. You don't have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.

17. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.

18. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

19. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.

Who Would Have Thought....

2006-05-01T22:51:00.000-04:00

Did you miss me? I haven't posted anything for a few days. It's because I've been busy working on a few projects. The most challenging was completing my taxes. I always get the shakes when I think about the money I owe the taxman. I guess I shouldn't resent the fact that all those immigrants that are collecting my tax money to stay at home and learn English. I just hope they find work soon so that they can support me when I retire.

Now here's an interesting article reported on the weekend in the local newspaper:

A renowned U.S. scientist has documented decreasing penis size due to environmental contamination. He has spent the last decade studying the influence of environmental contaminants on fetal development and reproductive systems of wildlife and humans, including the differences between alligators living in contaminated Florida lakes and those in cleaner ones. He found abnormalities in sex organs, dramatic differences in egg-hatching rates and hormone levels. Penis size of the animals from the polluted lake was smaller than animals from the less-polluted lake.

The lesson here is:

 Size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it.
 Don't swim in a polluted lake.

Your turn……

Beware the door-to-door free breast exam guy

2006-04-20T21:49:00.000-04:00

News Item:

A Florida man accused of pretending to be a doctor was arrested after police said he went door-to-door and offered to give free breast exams. Police arrested a 76-year-old man after one of the women became suspicious when he didn't use gloves during the exam.

The lesson here is:

Never submit to a breast exam unless the doctor is wearing latex gloves.
Breast exams are free only in Canada.

All I've Got is This...

2006-04-16T22:58:00.000-04:00

My Outrageous Name is:

Harry Muff

Outrageous Name Generator

Have a great week!

Bizarre Happenings.......

2006-04-09T22:02:00.000-04:00

I don’t usually post about serious stuff on this blog, but a rather bizarre situation is unfolding in rural Southwestern, Ontario.

The bodies of eight murdered men were found in three vehicles and a tow truck parked in a remote wooded area just off the road.

This is being described as the worst case of mass murder in Ontario's history. The police presence and media frenzy have shaken the residents in the usually quiet town of Shedden, which has no traffic lights, gas stations or coffee shops and a population of about 800.

People who live in this rural area describe it a quiet and peaceful place, but it has a long history linked to bikers and violence.

Read about it here
and here
more here

The First Blonde Guy Joke.....

2006-04-04T22:36:00.000-04:00

An Irishman, a Mexican and a

were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blond opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

(Oh this is GOOD!)

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde guy's wife. She said; "Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch."

Twisted HR Humor

2006-04-03T22:13:00.000-04:00

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the HR department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

The News The Way I See It

2006-03-30T20:46:00.000-05:00

This news article states that German prostitutes are signing up for a career change. They are training to become nurses to tend to the country's aging population. Apparently the competition in prostitution is fierce these days and they are well suited to retraining for such jobs.

As former prostitutes, they know how to listen and look after people.

It brings a whole new meaning to the term "head nurse"... eh!

Only in Canada.......

2006-03-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because he suffers from delusions that celebrities are communicating with him telepathically.

The 33-year-old man told psychiatrists that he knew the legal repercussions of his actions, but believed singer Shania Twain was helping him drive.

Ten years ago, this driver was given a seven-year prison sentence and barred from driving for the rest of his life after he killed a woman and her 12-year-old son while driving with a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit.

Sometimes Shania helps me drive too. So does Celine, Faith and Rod. I'll try that line the next time I get pulled over for speeding.

Will you all chip in to help bail me out?

BEFORE YOU RRRRROLL UP THE RIM......

2006-03-27T21:11:00.000-05:00

Roll up the rim madness has struck again.

Last week, I won two successive free coffees and a donut. Considering the number of cups of Tims java that I buy in a week, I deserve to win once in a while.

There are two stories in the news about the annual contest, which has become a spring ritual. Apparently, the chances of winning are greater if you live in Quebec where Tims is battling it out for market share with the arch rival Dunkin' Donut chain. Quebecers have a one in four million chance of winning an SUV. Meanwhile in Ontario, the odds are about one in eleven million.

Which is probably why the parents of two Montreal school children and an unnamed person are fighting it out for the ownership of a $28,700 Toyota RAV 4. A 10-year-old girl found an unrolled cup in a garbage can in her school and enlisted her 12-year-old friend to roll up the cup's rim. The cup was a winner and their families have been bickering over who should get the prize. But now the person that threw the cup out is now claiming to be the rightful owner of the prize.

Sooooooooooo..... before you buy a friend or a panhandler a coffee, make sure you sort out who gets the prize before the rim is rolled up. Order my preprinted lawyer approved "Rim Release" forms now. Just call 1-888-rim-form and for $9.99 I'll send you a supply of handy forms that will save you the cost of expensive litigation.

Dick Cheney Stay Away

2006-03-26T22:48:00.000-05:00

The Geese have returned. This is a sure sign of spring.

Our yard borders on a storm water pond, which is frequented by a flock of Canada Geese. On Saturday morning a couple of the birds wandered up the hill into our yard. I managed to take a couple of pictures. Click on the pictures for a closer view.

As an aside, the red bird feeder in the picture was filled with premium seed in the fall. There has not been a bird eat from it yet. I don't know if it is the bright red that keeps them away or the lack of trees in the yard.

Do you feed the birds?

Tim's - It's a Canadian Thing

2006-03-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

This is what I face every morning when I get to work.

I sit and stare at my laptop booting up. The corporate nerds have installed so much spyware that it takes over 7 minutes from the time I turn it on until my Outlook calendar comes up.

The good news is that I can sip on my extra large Tim's with cream and sugar while I sit and wait.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.... I do love my coffee.

Do you enjoy coffee in the morning?

More Blogtionary

2006-03-22T20:33:00.000-05:00

Blogtionary

2006-03-21T22:22:00.000-05:00

Eye Candy for Ladies

2006-03-20T23:18:00.000-05:00

Ladies you can thank Gennita Low and VanessaJaye for these two entertaining sites:

LAWLESS HUNK

HUNK CLEANING AGENT

Oh… And don’t forget to thank me too.

We Aim to Please... You Please Aim too

2006-03-19T22:24:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-14T22:41:00.000-05:00

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary,

"I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know,
he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep in
the middle of it, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

Let's Try This Again

2006-03-10T06:36:00.000-05:00

Listed below are two truths and one falsehood about me. Which one do you think is false? The truths can be found in the archives:

1. I drive a red pickup truck.

2. I was born in Germany.

3. My middle name is Bill.

UPDATE......

Here's a picture of the truck that the man with no middle name drives.

Some Friday Humor

2006-03-09T22:57:00.000-05:00

A man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only).

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only).

"She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

Tuesday's Question

2006-03-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

Where do you like to sit when you go to a movie... in the middle.... aisle seat... second to last row..........?

And, how early do you arrive?

I Have No Patience

2006-03-06T22:41:00.000-05:00

Finish this line (without using the word "saint"):

I have the patience of......

Deep Thoughts

2006-03-05T22:45:00.000-05:00

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to a mosque doesn't make you a Muslim any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel faster through the mail than checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

The Johnny Award

2006-02-28T22:04:00.000-05:00

What makes a restroom great? Is it the cleanliness or the décor? Now you help define what makes a great restroom by voting in the fifth annual “America’s Best Restroom Award”.

http://www.bestrestroom.com/rest_vote.html

Apparently the finest restroom in America is at the airport in Fort Smith, Arkansas according to the Internet public who cast online ballots in the annual “America’s Best Restroom” 2005 contest.

Arkansas finally has something to be proud of.

Saturday Smile

2006-02-25T10:59:00.000-05:00

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in; "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shuts them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, no spine and the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Which Comedian is NOT a Canadian?

2006-02-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

The answer is:

Jimmy Fallon
September 19, 1974
Brooklyn, New York

The Canadians are:

Dan Ackroyd
July 1, 1952
Ottawa, Ontario

Jim Carrey
January 17, 1962
Newmarket, Ontario

Howie Mandel
November 29, 2955
Toronto, Ontario

Mike Myers
May 26, 1963
Toronto, Ontario

Monday's Trivia Question Answer: Paul Anka

2006-02-21T22:28:00.000-05:00

Paul Anka did in fact compose The Tonight Show theme along with Johnny Carson in 1962. And, you may have noticed that I've added a Canadian focus to some of my posts. It's my way of showing some nationalist pride.

A Canadian, Anka burst onto the pop music scene at age 15 some 48 years ago with his self-written love-song, Diana. He followed it up with four more top-20 hits by the time he was 18. Since leaving Ottawa for New York at age 16, he’s never looked back. He has sold more than 40 million albums and singles. Arguably, he’s been even more successful as a composer, writing more than 900 songs: My Way, for Frank Sinatra, She's A Lady, for Tom Jones, and Jubilation, for Barbra Streisand. He also earned an Academy Award nomination for his theme song for the movie The Longest Day (1962).

Golden Girls

2006-02-20T20:58:00.000-05:00

Three cheers for the Canadian women's hockey team. They captured their second consecutive Olympic gold medal, dominating an upstart Swedish squad from start to finish in a 4-1 victory.

Way-to-go girls!

Now for some more trivia.... which of the following comedians is NOT a Canadian:

Jimmy Fallon
Howie Mandel
Mike Myers
Dan Aykroyd
Jim Carey

(No googling....answer on Wednesday)

Hats Off to Steve Smith

2006-02-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

Steve Smith has been appointed to the Order of Canada. The star of the Red Green Show, which can be seen on many PBS stations, is best known for "duct tape" projects and such lines as, "if the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.”

The show has been running for 15 years and has quite a following.

The Order of Canada, established in 1967, is Canada's highest honor for lifetime achievement in a variety of fields.

Now for a bit of trivia to start the week…who composed the Theme song for Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" on NBC?

Was it:

Paul Anka

Doc Severinsen

Paul Shaffer

I'll post the answer on Tuesday.

Bumper Sticker for Democrats

2006-02-19T21:32:00.000-05:00

Bumper Stickers for Republicans

2006-02-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

Bumper Stickers For Women

2006-02-17T22:59:00.000-05:00

1. SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

2. GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

3. IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

4. MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

5. PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

6. COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

7. DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

8. IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

9. DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

10. I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

11. GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

12. NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

13. AND YOUR POINT IS...?

14. WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

15. OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. 16. DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.

17. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP. 18. ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

19. I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

20. HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

21. SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

22. ANOTHER DOPELESS HOPE FIEND

23. IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

24. DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

And You Thought Dick Was A Straight Shooter

2006-02-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

The press and the comedians are having a field day with the Cheney hunting accident. After all it's not often when the second-in-command of the most powerful country in the free world accidentally shoots a lawyer buddy in the face.

But here is what I don't understand.

Katharine Armstrong, owner of the 20,200-hectare (50,000-acre) Armstrong Ranch and an eyewitness to the incident told Associated Press that she was watching the hunting party from a car late Saturday afternoon when Mr. Cheney, Mr. Whittington and a third hunter got out to shoot a covey of quail.

What kind of bird hunt can be conducted in the vicinity of spectators sitting in cars? It makes me wonder if these birds were raised to be easy targets for celebrity hunters?

One thing is for sure, we will never know the whole story surrounding this incident. I just hope for Dick's sake, the shooting victim does not succumb to further malaise as a result of the shooting.

I figure Cheney should stick to fishing in the future. He'll be less of a threat that way.

Change Management

2006-02-07T22:11:00.000-05:00

I heard this said at a management meeting today and thought it was worth sharing:

"Improvement requires change. However, not all changes are improvements."

What flops do you remember?

How about the Edsel or the AMC Pacer? Or, the Betamax.

Are My Comments Working?

2006-02-07T07:18:00.000-05:00

Someone please leave a comment so I can determine if my comment settings now work.

A Feisty Chanteuse

2006-02-02T23:16:00.000-05:00

Update....Missing Comments

Something strange is happening. I've received emails of commnents on this post from Monika, MizBoheMia, Trinity13 and Shane, but they don't show up here in the comments section. Has this happened to anyone else?

Have you ever heard a song on the radio that you just can not get out of your head? I've been hearing such a song, but never was able to catch the name or the artist.

Finally today, it clicked. It's "Inside & Out" by Leslie Feist. This Nova Scotia-born, Calgary-raised chanteuse, is a true original.

The song is a remake of a Bee Gees classic. It’s grandiose and magnificent and unlike anything else you’ll hear on the radio this year.

Her voice is earthy and raw. I'm convinced that it won't be long before she'll hit the Billboard charts.

Listen to her here Click on her videos.. then select Inside & Out

Canadian Ingenuity

2006-01-31T22:08:00.000-05:00

Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting Canadian money.

Canadians have therefore decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Islamists from even touching it!

It is also hoped that this will have a positive effect on tourism.

Do you think America should do the same?

TGIF Potpourri

2006-01-26T22:53:00.000-05:00

And the winning caption is...
"So how does this puppet thing work? They make it look so easy with me."

Good one SAR!

Now for the 25 signs that you are old:

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"

So, have you got anything to add?

One more thing.......Did you see the story about the private jet carrying the Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora-led band and their staff from a Friday night gig in Buffalo, NY. It skidded off the runway early Saturday after landing in Hamilton, Ontario, amid severe weather conditions.

The distance from the Buffalo airport to the Hamilton airport is less than 60 miles. How dumb is that?

What Was He Thinking?

2006-01-24T22:25:00.000-05:00

Here's your chance to get into George's head.

What was he thinking?

Leave your thought caption in the comments section.

I'll pick the best one and declare the winner on Friday.

Canada Votes

2006-01-23T22:11:00.000-05:00

Today is Election Day in Canada. Our parliamentary system of government is quite different than that of the US.

The expectation is that the Conservative Party will win with a minority government.

The last polls do not close until 10 PM EST so it will be a while before the outcome is known.

Sunday Smile

2006-01-22T09:32:00.000-05:00

I've decided to help you start your week with a smile……but beware this smile is adult rated:

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

About 32," is the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily. A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you." While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"

The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's

Boys Night Out

2006-01-20T19:29:00.000-05:00

So did you see the story about the wool and craft store in Lower Manhattan that is fighting the stereotype that knitting is the province of women?

Apparently the store draws dozens of men to its weekly men's night where beginners and experts gather to exchange tips over beer and hot dogs.

The only things I knit are my eyebrows, but I think it's alright for the guys to get together over a ball of yarn and a few silver bullets.

Who knows maybe someone will spin this into a movie and call it Brokeback Scarf.

Read the story here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060118/en_nm/life_knitting_dc

Update.... this is today's weather shot (Sat. 1/21 10:15 a.m.) looking to the southeast.

The Story of the Man in Black

2006-01-15T21:34:00.000-05:00

So have you seen Walk The Line?

I'm not particularly fond of Johnny Cash or his music, but I thought the movie was excellent. Reese Witherspoon was outstanding as June Carter and Joaquin Phoenix played Johnny Cash better than Cash himself. Phoenix's rendition of Cash's songs sounded as good if not better than the originals.

Both Phoenix and Witherspoon have received nominations in the Golden Globe best actor in a Musical or Comedy category. The competition will be tough as they both have some strong competition.

There is some local Ontario folk lore attached to the Cash saga. It was on stage at a performance at the London Gardens where Cash asked Carter to marry him in 1968. And, local concert promoter Saul Holliff managed Cash for a number of years as well as the Statler Brothers Quartet.

Go and see the movie if you haven't seen it. I guarantee you'll enjoy it and you'll walk away humming, I walk the Line.

UPDATE: January 16, 2006 10:30 p.m.

GOLDEN GLOBE WINNERS:

BEST MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY: WALK THE LINE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY: REESE WITHERSPOON - WALK THE LINE

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE - MUSICAL OR COMEDY : JOAQUIN PHOENIX - WALK THE LINE

Blogger's Block

2006-01-12T22:48:00.000-05:00

I'm must be suffering from blogger's block since I haven't posted anything for almost a week. Blogging is very time consuming and I marvel at those who have the time and creativity to post on a daily basis. I certainly don't intent to abandon blogging, but I just have not had any inspiring thoughts on what to post.

So, to keep you amused and coming back, I'm posting this, which I stole from someone else:

30 Years Difference:

1976: Long hair
2006: Longing for hair

1976: KEG
2006: EKG

1976: Acid rock
2006: Acid reflux

1976: Moving to California because it's cool
2006: Moving to California because it's warm

1976: Trying to look like Liz Taylor
2006: Trying NOT to look like Liz Taylor

1976: Seeds and stems
2006: Roughage

1976: Going to a new, hip joint
2006: Receiving a new hip joint

1976: Rolling Stones
2006: Kidney Stones

1976: Passing the drivers' test
2006: Passing the vision test

Resolutions

2006-01-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

The Top 10 New Year's Resolutions According to Kimberly and Albrecht Powell in an About Web site article, these are the Top 10 New Year's resolutions:

1. Spend more time with family and friends.

2. Make time for fitness.

3. Lose weight.

4. Quit smoking.

5. Enjoy life more.

6. Quit drinking.

7. Get out of debt.

8. Learn something new.

9. Help others.

10. Get organized.

My top 3 are:

1. Enjoy life more.

2. Get organized.

2. Enjoy life more.

What did you resolve?

Stranger Than Fiction

2006-01-02T21:51:00.000-05:00

I saw this story in the Sunday paper and felt compelled to share.... "Female millionaire marries a male dolphin named Cindy."

Now this is NOT about a "Miami Dolphin." This dolphin is an aquatic mammal.

Soooo..... could this have meant wedding bells for King Kong if he lived today?

Read the story here: http://www.novinite.com/view_news.php?id=57190

Happy New Year!

2005-12-31T09:52:00.000-05:00

Wishing everyone all the best of health, happiness and prosperity in the New Year.

Let the party begin!

2005-12-23T13:32:00.000-05:00

I realize not everyone in North America is Christian and celebrates the Christmas holiday. Certainly the vast majority are and do and the recent politically correct shift from labeling everything formerly known as "Merry Christmas" to "Happy Holidays" may have gone too far.

I don’t think anyone should be forced to say "Merry Christmas" but I'm refusing to say "Happy Holidays."

Take the time to get merry this Christmas and above all have a healthy and prosperous New Year.

JibJab is at it Again

2005-12-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

The JibJab gang has come out with their year-end Bush Bashing round-up. It's good for a laugh. You can buy the download for $1.99 or endure the commercial and view the free version.

See it here http://www.jibjab.com/Home.aspx

Lights!!!

2005-12-07T21:55:00.000-05:00

I put up my Christmas lights early this year, but did not turn them on until December 1st. I try to keep my display fairly simple and in good taste. Some people go hog-wild with lights.

CD's lights>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The top five signs that you may have gone over the top with your Christmas light display:

# 5 Tour buses stop in front of your house during December
# 4 Your neighbors wear sunglasses at night
# 3 The water in your hot tub is hot even with the heater turned off
# 2 That hum in your ears only stops when you go to work

And the number one indicator that you may have gone over the top with your display:

....You get a Christmas card from the president of the electric utility company

Do you put up Christmas lights on your house?

Check out Vanessajaye's link to
a bizare Christmas light display

Let it Snow

2005-12-02T09:47:00.000-05:00

It's Friday morning and I'm observing a mental health day. Actually, I've just completed a major task at work and I'm taking a well-deserved break.

We have lots of snow north of here and I've been listening to the radio to hear what's going on. Most of the area highways are jammed up because of icy road conditions. It's a good day to stay home.

I snapped a picture of the scene in the yard from the patio door. We live a few hundred yards from the lake (not the pond in the picture). You can see that there's not that much snow here, but the sky looks like more is on the way.

I won't be posting for a day or two, but my next post will be all about Christmas lights.

Dear Santa:

2005-12-01T23:01:00.000-05:00

I've been a really good dude this past year. I've been eating right, exercising and actually lost a couple of ounces.

I'd like a new digital camera, one of those with the compact 12X zoom lens.

A Canon PowerShot S2, Sony Cyber-Shot DscH1 or
Panasonic Lumix Z30 would be just great.

I've read the reviews and my choice is the Canon PowerShot S2. I hope to find it under the tree on Christmas morning.

But if I don't, I won't be sad. I'll just be buying it on the Boxing Day sale.

Sincerely,

CD

A Tradition is Born

2005-11-30T12:18:00.000-05:00

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Do you still put the angel on top of your tree?

Cleaning out the old junk email!

2005-11-26T21:51:00.000-05:00

Every now and then I browse though the "bulk" file in my email box.

I've collected over 185 entries, 16 of them have the same subject.... "hi, ive a new mail address," but they are all from different senders and have the same file attached. I'm a little suspicious, so they get deleted right away.

Seven have the subject of "Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie" and invite me to "View Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie video clips , pictures & more ;) Download is free until Jan, 2006!"

Now what warm blooded male could resist that? Meeeeeeeee.

Ok, now here's one that's different. The subject is, "Do you know…... I love you." The content reads as follows:
S-ensational revolution in medicine! Enlarge your penis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches! It's a herbal solution what hasn't side effect, but has 100% guaranteed results! Don't loose your chance and but know wihtout doubts, you will be impressed with results! Click here……….

Now that is tempting. What I couldn't do with 4 extra inches…..hmmmmmmm.. and it's a herbal solution. How great is that? Should I go for it……. NOT.

Wow.. there are 12 emails with the subject, "Registration_Confirmation, Account and Password Information are attached!"

Now I wonder what that could be about?

Nada, I'm just gonna click on the "empty" the box icon. I guess, I'll never know what opoortunities I have missed.

How full is you junk mail box?

Politically Correct

2005-11-21T23:04:00.000-05:00

I heard some new "politically correct" phrases on the radio today.

Apparently "shower thinking" is the replacement for brainstorming. I guess that's so people without any brains won’t feel disadvantaged.

"Deferred success" is the new alternative for failure. The BBC reported that a British Teacher's Association will discuss this concept at the association's annual meeting.

I thought "Bush" was the term for failure. I can't take credit for that line.

Perhaps the most bizarre new phrase is "misguided criminals," one of several terms the British Broadcasting Corporation used so as not to use the word "terrorist" in describing those who carried out train and bus bombings in London in July.

And, I thought misguided meant confused or lost. Is politically correct just like deferred common sense?

Happy Birthday Mickey

2005-11-18T22:31:00.000-05:00

Mickey Mouse made his debut in Steamboat Willie on November 18, 1928, at the Colony Theater in New York.

Dave's Monologue

2005-11-17T22:53:00.000-05:00

It's no secret, I'm a big David Letterman fan. Last night's monologue was one of the best I've ever heard. Humor me.... check it out.

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/dave_tv/ls_dtv_monologues.shtml#

Click on November 16. Be patient.... it takes a few seconds to open.

Old House Update

2005-11-17T22:33:00.000-05:00

Last month, I posted a picture of an old abandoned house http://bubbery.blogspot.com/2005/10/this-old-house.html that I pass by everyday.

This past week, the house collapsed.

Go figure.

Thanks a Lot!

2005-11-15T22:54:00.000-05:00

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail t o seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick kid who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don't copy this and e-mail it to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EDT) tomorrow afternoon.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's barber. If you don't believe me, look it up on Urbanlegends.com!